Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Being openly gay has nothing to do with talking about sexual intercourse

cross post from Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

One News Now columnist Peter Heck typifies the willful ignorance some folks have about the lgbt community.

Recently he put this ignorance on display in a piece in which he attacked CNN anchor Don Lemon for coming out. Heck then proceeded to write a long rambling piece further criticizing Lemon, American culture, former NBA star Charles Barkeley, and even Lady Gaga, calling her "vile and perverted."

The meat of Heck's rambling is best seen in the following passage:

. . . why do the very people who constantly tell us that what a person does in their bedroom is no one else's business, simultaneously find it necessary to inform everyone of what they do in their bedroom? If this is a private matter, Don, then let's keep it private. Perhaps I'm the only one who feels this way, but frankly, I don't care to know what kind of sex the evening news anchor is into. Beyond it being remarkably irrelevant to the dissemination of news, it's just kind of creepy that these proponents of sexual anarchy feel it is their civic duty to incessantly shove their unconventional behavior in front of our children's faces.

How many of us have heard that ridiculous notion - i.e. homosexuality is all about sexual intercourse. Why do you tell anyone who you are sleeping with?

Even when someone folks try to show the lgbt community support, they succumb to the ignorance when they say things like "I don't care who so-and-so is sleeping with."

Being an lgbt goes way beyond sexual intercourse and behavior. It's a point we need to press consistently. Announcing that you are gay is not automatically giving someone a window into your bedroom. And being honest about your sexual orientation does not mean that you are going to regal people with your sexual prowess.

Part of the difficulty lgbts face in this world is people like Heck willfully trying to connect being an lgbt with thoughtless hedonistic behavior, hence the constant tired strain that "homosexuality is a lifestyle."

Well I'm gay and my life has less to do with sexual hijinks and more to do with getting up every day, working, etc. - you know, normal stuff. And to the millions of lgbts - especially lgbt couples and individuals taking care of children - it's pretty much the same thing.

Being an lgbt is no different than being a heterosexual. Being open and honest about your lgbt orientation is about honesty and living your life without fear.

You do not choose to be gay and being open about your orientation does not mean that you are choosing to talk about your sex life.

Ignorance, however, is a choice. It's a point that Heck has made abundantly clear.
I can not tell you how many times I have come out to a friend or coworker and the first thing they do is start telling me about their sex life!
I am NOT interested in your bedroom activities and refuse to tell you about mine. I am NOT Dr. Ruth so please do not ask me sex questions. Just because I am LGBT does not make me an encyclopedia on on sex.
Coming out means I want to tell you I am not alone, so stop trying to fix me up. I am married and have a family.
I want to tell you about the vacation WE took or the beautiful wedding WE had, not how I pleasure my spouse. That is none of your business.

1 comment:

  1. My gay/lesbian friends are all about ordinary everyday activities. Like for example: volunteering to sweat their asses off all day at the SoWeBo Arts festival along with my straight friends. Thanks for making it happen...