Sunday, February 26, 2012

Hypocrisy Among Friends and Family

Hypocrisy as defined by Merriam-Webster : a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not.
We often accuse people of being a hypocrites. Politicians that say one thing and vote another. The person in the next cubical that is friendly to your face but whispers bad things under their breath.  The religious folks that attend church every Sunday but go home and kick the dog, pop a beer, and beat their wife or have sex with their kids. The religious leaders that protest against gays but later get caught with a "Rent Boy"
It is one thing to know a stranger is a hypocrite. It is easy to stay away from them and/or vote them out of office. It is another to be friends or have family that are.

Dealing with family that are hypocritical can be amusing at times. Pointing it out to them can be helpful or start a huge fight. Either way, they are your family and you just suck it up.
 My baby brother does not take a stand on anything nor does he vote. I am a Democrat. The rest are  conservative Republicans. I find this to be a great source of sad amusement.

I don't have health care. I have not had a job that offered a plan I could afford. I think health care should be affordable or free for everyone. It is necessary to the growth of our nation to have healthy productive people and no one should die from something treatable. They do not. To them it is a privilege and if you don't work hard enough to afford health care then suffer. Sounds cruel to me. So they suffer.  I find a clinic that can help or point me in the right direction. They don't want socialized medicine yet my folks are on Medicare/Medicaid as well as paying for health coverage.

The biggest problem I have is that they will all be voting for one of the GOP clowns this November. They will support the GOPers platform and issues because most of them will not touch their lives.  They don't have health care because they don't want it I guess. My brothers will not be getting abortions and they all think immigrants should go home. If they do stay, speak English. This is a tough bunch to love sometimes.
The kicker is that every GOPer wants to repeal every right and protection from us gay, lesbian, bi, and transgender folks. They do not want us married or even civil unionized. This is where my amusement ends.  I am a married lesbian.

Ya is not okay to say you love me and respect my "commitment" but vote for people that do not. It is not cool to be okay with my marriage but vote for people who want to take it back.
It is much easier to deal with my family now that I don't live so close but religion and politics are still forbidden subjects to discuss when we talk on the phone or Skype. We are family and we have to agree to disagree.

So what happens when you find out that a friend has proven to be a hypocrite? We choose our friends for many reasons and as friends we often look the other way when they make a bad choice. It is not our place to tell our friends what to do but to support them if the bottom falls out. I have had many friends. Some for a short time and some for decades. The short ones just fizzled out for one reason or another. The long ones  become more like family because you are there come thick or thin. Not that I have not had issues with some of the bad choices they made but their choices don't affect me so much as it affects them. I am out spoken and honest with my friends and I expect that in return.

A friend does not say one thing to your face and another on facebook. A friend does not seem to be on your side of the issue then post the opposite on their wall. A friend is one who comes when you call crying. Is one who will not hesitate to offer a kidney. Is one who is there when your spouse dies. Who has said they love you. Who said they love your kids. Who sits with you in the ER. Who is thrilled it is nothing to worry about.
I can be friends with people that don't think we should be married if they are honest about it from the start but a friend does not say that they think our marriage is cool for years then facebook it isn't when equal marriage comes to town.
I am not sure what to do. I do know my wife is hurt. She has been friends with this person for 20-25 years.
Maybe I'll do what friends do. Talk about it over a cup of coffee.

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